When You Have Nothing to Pour Out: A Leader’s Inner Health

“If things are not going well with you, begin your effort at correcting the situation by carefully examining the service you are rendering, and especially the spirit in which you are rendering it.”  –Roger Babson

The longer the corona-lockdowns continue, the more I hear of people’s mental/emotional health taking a beating. Have you felt like you just didn’t have what it takes to start another day, or begin work on another project, or sign on to another virtual meeting? In addition, many are lacking the vision of something to look forward to each week. Let’s first do a quick self-check to see if your mental/emotional gas tank is on E for empty.

“Most of us see the writing on the wall; we just assume it’s addressed to someone else.” –Ivern Ball

Are you:

• Frequently tired?
• Frequently irritable or angry?
• Experiencing loss of joy in your job and/or life in general?
• In the middle of ongoing relational strife that hurts you deeply?
• Suffering from declining health; recurrent health problems?
• Not finding time to renew/relax/refresh—no separation from work and home and me-time?
• Struggling with an external/internal problem not dealt with, that begins to consume you?
• Feeling distant from God/your spiritual Center?
• Overall feeling off-track or drifting through life?

If so, it’s time to Fill ‘er Up!

Visit the gas station: Take some time away, in solitude, to figure out where you are, where you want to be, and goal-set for how to get there (or utilize a list of questions from a life-coach to help you get some of that clarity).

“Where there is no vision, there is no hope.” –George Washington Carver

Here are some questions for your self-reflection once you are away from your typical routine. Begin by Starting to  journal.

“Before it can be solved, a problem must be clearly stated and identified.” –William Feather

1. What is draining my tank? This identifies how the stimuli is affecting how God wired you.
2. What’s my negative self-talk? This identifies how you are allowing arrows of discouragement to implode you.

“We cannot act in a manner that is inconsistent with the way we see ourselves.” –John Maxwell

“Every thought we think is creating our future.” –Louise Hay

3. What bad habit am I allowing to fester?  This identifies what is clogging the pipes in your relationships and flow of energy.  “Little faults can ruin a person just as little holes can ruin a tire.”    Blast before you build.
4. What boundaries am I allowing to be violated? This identifies where you are taking on ownership of someone else’s problem—and getting trampled by it.  Anger is a sign of this.
5. Has self-care been neglected? In which areas? This identifies where you are self-destructing by not feeding yourself the nutrients of life.   Stress management, nutrition, rest, exercise, preventative health exams, etc.  Downtime is not wasted time!
6. What am I doing to refresh/renew self? This identifies how well you are balanced, your bounce-back quotient.

“Life is not about how fast you run, or how you climb, but how well you bounce.”

       7. Do I have a dose of beauty and laughter in my life? This identifies how drab or vibrant your life has become.

“You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.” –Michael Pritchard

Then, Build an interdependent support system of key people/life-givers:

1. 1. Spouse (Freshen up your marriage!)
   2. Friends (Ask for accountability)
   3. Mentor (someone further down the road from you)
   4. Counselor/coach (to get you unstuck)

“A true friend is someone who can get us to do what we can.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Difficult times always create opportunities for you to experience more love in your life.” –Barbara DeAngelis

Then, on an ongoing basis: Take one day at a time; live in the present.

1. 1. Free up from the past (Forgive and ask for forgiveness).

“Time heals all wounds unless you pick at them.” –Shawn Alexander

2. Don’t worry/live in fear about the future.

“Where your head goes, your body follows.”

3. Seize the day! Deal with it!  Launch it!  Pursue it!

“Just for today I will be happy. Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once.” –Sybyl Partridge

“The beginning is always today.”  –Mary Shelley

“Prepare your mind to receive the best that life has to offer.”  –Ernest Holmes

Then, Receive AROMA therapy:  Ask for it from your spouse and support system, or fill your life with it yourself.

1. 1. Affection (touch)
   2. Respect (Don’t allow yourself to be disrespected)
   3. Order (De-clutter/simplify life, work/home spaces, and mind)
   4. Merriment (Have fun, see humor in things, treat yourself)
   5. Affirmation (Self-affirmations are all you can control)

Day to day, Cease complaining and up your gratefulness quotient.

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” –Charles Dickens   You can either complain that rose bushes have thorns—or rejoice that thorn bushes have roses.

Triple-A Formula for Happiness:

• Accept the moment.
• Appreciate it.
• Adapt to its opportunities.

If you haven’t yet, Start a wellness regimen.

“The groundwork of all happiness is health.” –Leigh Hunt

1. Begin exercising daily.  Find a way to move; don’t give up.

2. Start making healthy choices in eating/drinking.

3  Get plenty of rest (both sleep and other downtime)

4. Find ways (besides 1-3) to decompress: hobby, lessons, energizing activity, chatting with a friend, solitude/silence

 To stay chipper, Do something in your passion every day/week. Make a huge list of things you love; it’s a menu to pick from.

From the choices in this blog, Build new habits and protect them with boundaries. You must build momentum. What must you say NO to, in order to stay YES to these priorities?

“The secret of success is what you do daily.”  –Maxwell

“Without consistency, there is no moral strength.”   Mentally prepare for the day.

Now, what will you do first?

“No matter how big and tough a problem may be, get rid of confusion by taking one little step toward solution.  Do something. Then try again.” –George Nordenholt

If you haven’t picked up a copy of my first book The Static Cling Principle, make it your first read of the new year. It’s about what habits to pull off your life that are draining your gas tank, and which ones you need to stick onto your life to fill you up. Jump over to www.paulcasey.org