by Paul Casey

8 Baby-Steps to Becoming More Outgoing


  1. Brainstorm the benefits: Some possibilities for you might include: additional (and deeper) relationships; more opportunities; conquering your fear; people remembering you in the future, etc.
  2. Schedule yourself to attend social events and then gather the courage and go!  There are limitless opportun your community, in organizations you belong to, or you can initiate a meet-up yourself. Get more at ease outside your comfort zone. As they say in trainings, “Yellow (feeling a little uncomfortable) is the new green (all is good).”
  3. Have your go-to questions to ask of others. A question like, “What’s the biggest thing you’re working on at the moment?” opens up the conversation. people like you more when you put the spotlight on them. Focus on being more interested than interesting.
  4. Show enthusiasm about aspects of your life. Enthusiasm is contagious and will draw people into your story. You are doing it well when they ask follow-up questions (You’ve hooked them!)
  5. To not get overwhelmed with a crowd, find an “anchor person” that you already know (or who is displaying immediate friendliness, or one of the hosts of the event) to “settle in with” until you get the lay of the land–and then venture out from there.
  6. Use humor to build bridges in conversations. Everyone loves to laugh: appropriate sarcasm, self-deprecation, what strike, movie lines–all these are options to bring a smile to their face.
  7. Watch how other outgoing people present themselves: adopt pieces of their behaviors that feel natural for you, too.
  8. Smile and greet people warmly 100% of the time. It’s the entry to better conversations. First impressions matter.

From one introvert to another, it IS possible to amp up your presence with others. Later, you can crawl back to your fireplace with a good book, knowing you stretched yourself out in public! For more helpful self-leadership tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel and its videos by searching for Paul Casey.


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