by Paul Casey

6 Ways to Add Some Spice to Your Relationship

It’s not like you are thinking of breaking up or separating, but you know your relationship has lost some luster in recent months/years and needs some rejuvenation to regain that lovin’ feeling:

  1. Get away. Get a vacation on the calendar right away. Discuss together where a destination would be that would give you space to spark renewed romance.  It often takes breaking out of the daily ruts of life to experience newness with your partner.
  2. Intentionally speak each other’s love language. Take or re-take the quick on-line assessment of The 5 Love Languages (Chapman) to share with each other what most fills your love tank whether it’s quality time, physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation or thoughtful gifts.  It’s usually the one you most enjoy receiving; that’s why it’s truly an act of love to give what he/she needs. It can boomerang beautifully back onto you!
  3. Hold a weekly date night as sacred. Push all other commitments and chores aside on a given night, and prioritize your partner. Make a list of fun places to go or experiences to do, so that you aren’t caught staying home watching TV too often on date night (might be a rut?). GIve each other undivided attention the whole date. Really talk!
  4. Get a checkup from a counselor or relationship coach. We often need outside perspective in order to truly grow. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness. These people-helpers are skilled at working through obstacles to intimacy and assisting you in formulating plans that both of you will enjoy committing to.
  5. Do the little things that matter. Don’t forsake courtesies like men holding doors for women, compliments on how well they wear an outfit, showing appreciation for regular chores that help the family, a loving touch in passing/kiss good-bye or hello, an asking if you can get something for him/her while you are already up/out.
  6. Make a list of all the things you love/appreciate about your mate. Just this act warms up your heart toward him/her and turns your focus to the positive. Then find creative was to share those affirmations with him/her: cards, texts, hidden notes, Facebook posts, attached to gifts (like flowers), etc.

Spark some renewed romance, and you two together will Grow Forward!  And if you want to schedule a free 45-minute coaching session to start becoming the best version of you–so that you can be at your best for others— let’s do it! Contact me at


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